Meditation done and dusted!
Yesterday an old photo came up on my facebook feed and it was off me and my twin brother, Jean-Philippe, Emmanuel, Grouchy de Vornez. I know a mouth full.
Normally I would lose myself in sadness and pain and that would be it.
Hence when I think of Philipp I lose myself in depression and I struggle to get going with my day- even now after more than 40 years.
But yesterday wasn’t like that. Yes I did shear a tear but then I got going with my stuff and I was amazingly productive.
What has changed?
Indeed what was different today to all other days before? I had watched Gaby Logan on TV the other day and she shared the loss of her brother. After his death she grabbed hold off life with both hands and lived far more intense and to the fullest of her ability than before … she turned something so sad into strength and growth.
As long as I can remember, I have missed Philippe – for 40 years now, most days and it has not done me any good at all.
Yet, all things considered! It’s time to stop now with madness and sadness and pain, and do like Gaby- grab hold of life with both hands and enjoy it to its fullest with my kids and family and friends.
To demonstrated, The Mountbatten twins, one died in a horrific accident and so many more died with him. I read the book, and saw the TV- program about it. Their pain is vivid and I feel with them as their pain is very much like mine, or rather like mine was?
Each pain and loss is different and I am in no way! comparing griefs here!
But in an unforeseen nevertheless stupid freak accident.
Even so, I didn’t take any solage from the books nor the program- The Mountbatten twins, as I shared too much of the same grief and loss with these people.
In brief, I felt connected with them all, which in it self is calming and soothing- not to be the only one!
Nevertheless, they were still on the same path of sorrow as me and we were all out there at sea chasing peace in our heart and mind.
Importantly, Gaby Logan didn’t chase peace of mind she had it.
She had found her peace and she pushed forward for two.
She took on her brothers dreams and aspiration and worked double hard to make sure that no stone was untouched, and no walk was un-walked as she had to experience it all for the two of them.
That’s inspiration with growth and stamina and a ‘fuck this’ attitude. Apparently ‘Fuck this’ is a super attitude for mental health- who would have known!?
Ultimately, if you are like me- stuck in a loss of some close to you- that special one– just have a think- What has ‘that’ given you so far? What has it accomplished so far with you sitting there paralysed in sorrow and sadness?
Is it servival guilt?
I get that.
But haven’t you had that long enough by now?
In Summary, from this day forward- I will complete my work task regardless of my mood and if – as I know I will! nosedive and get sad- even so I will still work on like a trooper and get my ‘shit’ done!
From now on, I’m now laser focused on my tasks ahead and what I want to do with my life.
My new motto is to take small steps and chunk up my plans so they don’t overwhelm me. To know I can do this.
No excuse will stop me and I will never ever go back to my old habits., of laying in bed and feeling sorry for myself and being paralysed with grief.
Faith and hope has arrived in abundance and here we go!
Up and Beyond!
What’s your story?.
And as always,
My dream is to offer the best information and services possible in the Four Pillars of Fitness, Nutrition, Accountability and Mental Wellness.