How to trust again.
How can you trust again?
Trust develops only if you test it.
This means, first of all, starting to let go of distrust and questioning your thinking.
I invite you to write down the names of one person who has caused you stress in any way – it can be a friend, family member, coworker, or boss, for example.
Write down one reason why they earned your distrust.
Then, offer acceptance to this person in your heart, try to see this person with love.
But before you might be able to do that- you could follow the steps below:
Think and feel- Who would YOU be if you didn’t have that thought and felt like that?
Journal about how you can begin to allow this person to earn your trust back by changing your thinking about them.
Is this thought causing you pain or stress?
Good, so work on that.
Reflect on who you would be- without this negative belief- Happy? at Peace? Calm?
What is this thought costing you?
What is this thought giving- paying- you? YES!
It’s always a win and a cost for all thoughts.
We wouldn’t think and do things if we didn’t get some sort of satisfaction from them.
I just invite you to reflect on what you lose and get from thinking this thought.
And which one is strongest?
Does it cost more than you get- win from thinking like this?
If you lose in this game?
Does it cost you more than you gain?
If so, it might be time to change that thought pattern?
Judge the person in your mind- go for it! and then turn the thought around and ask your self- not to judge you at all, but just to get perspective to it all.
If you think:
Pete is never listening to me.
It could be: I’m never listening to Pete.
Which one is truer? Are they both equal? in truth?
Just sit for a second and pounder.
Then when you interact with the person try not to be judgmental with them, but do all ‘the work’ on paper or in your head and then write it all down.
Be free to be as mean and judgmental that you can be as it’s safe- it’s all on paper!
So, when you Interact, do that from love.
From a fresh start with no old stories going around in your head.
As you have worked on them and now see things clearer.
It was an old story, old thinking that is no longer valid in this situation or in the now.
Or are they?
Just sit down and question your thinking!
What is truer?
It’s that simple.
How do I want to feel today?
Happy or stressed.
OK, what thoughts make me happy- these.
What thoughts make me stressed and sad- these.
Which ones would you like to do more off?
I like to be more happy- well then I will focus on those thoughts and the sad, stressful ones I will look at them and question them.
Are they really true?
Who would I be without them?
How would I feel without them?
Turn them around- put your name instead of the name of the irritating person name/ situation – what is truer?
You being like that or them?
Then- if they are like that .. often.
How about facing up to reality and accept ‘what is’.
I’m looking forward to Pete not listening to me ( as if that who he is it will happen again and better to be ok with it than fight it)
I’m willing to Peter not listening to me again.
Why would you look forward to it?
These turnarounds are about embracing all of life, just as it is.
*Saying—and meaning—“I am willing to . . .” creates open-mindedness, creativity, and flexibility. Any resistance you may have is softened, and that allows you to open up to the situation in your life rather than keep hopelessly applying willpower to eradicate it or push it away.
*Saying and meaning “I look forward to . . .” actively opens you to life as it unfolds. And fear goes away – if not totally but it sure goes down.
I’m willing to
I look forward
* I’m willing for Paul to lie to me again.
* I’m willing to be disrespected again”
* I look forward to Paul to lie to me again.
* I look forward to be disrespected again”
‘It is really that simple.’
Start by doing something that makes you feel successful and full of joy!
Start positive and set the day!
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